Friday, May 8, 2009

Secret Destinations

I am about to do something outrageous, but exciting. Very unexpectedly, it became possible to embark on a three day journey that is absolutely wonderful. The details about how this came about are interesting but embarrassing, so I cannot reveal how this happened, for fear of exposing too much of myself and my defects. I will fly away tomorrow to a magical place and stay for a short few days to recharge and relax. I hope to return home renewed and ready to move forward. This is not the right time or the right circumstances, and I am as scared as I am anticipating this. The house needs more work, I am inundated with paperwork at both offices, and there are thousands of details to attend to. Eric will drive in tonight from Montreal after a detour through Manhattan to meet Tara an pick up her belongings from her dorm room. I hope he brings everything straight to the storage unit!

I knew this was brewing a few days ago and I told my friend Emily who was entirely supportive and encouraging. Eric was skeptical but told me as long as I did not spend any money I could take a few days off. I moved all my Tuesday and Wednesday patients to ten hours days on Thursday and Friday. I had been anticipating another visit to my parents to possibly meet with my mother's doctor, but when this alternative possibility came up, I decided to indulge myself and 'go for it'. I told more details to my friends Daphne and Julien tonight. The story just seemed silly and bizarre, so I am feeling a bit uncomfortable. I can change my mind any moment, but I am not sure I want to. At this moment I am anticipating missing Eric and Tara and Maya. I wish I could be with them these four days. Maya has a concert tomorrow and I have been listening to her orchestra every Saturday and the music is wonderful. Eric to her 'Third Grade Idol' contest at school today. She played Haydn beautifully, and I was so proud. She had borrowed another child's violin at school a couple of weeks ago to audition as a finalist, and told me after the fact that she had made the first cut. I found out online that the finals were today; Maya was not expecting to see me, but a patient canceled and I was able to see her on stage. I have been so happy today to have both my daughters at home. Tara, Maya, and I cuddled together all night and Tara and I had a coffee together this morning. She has cut her hair short and lightened her hair color and looks great! I am looking forward to having my whole family together in Ecuador.

Tara was supportive when I told her. She would love to be with me, but it is too late to have her join me. Maya cried when I told her I would be away for Mother's Day, which made me cry too, but we decided to celebrate Mother's Day on Thursday night instead of Sunday.

So tomorrow morning I will wake up early to prepare Maya for her day. She sees her accompanist early in the morning and has ballet rehearsal all day. I teach a class and then take off for the airport and settle in for a circuitous route to my destination. I did not have many choices because I did not want to pay for my ticket. I will arrive Sunday morning in another world.

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