Eric and I had another salsa class together, and we are improving, so much so that it may be time to go to a club and dance the night away. I am not sure how that will happen, since we have had no babysitters since Megan and Kayoke left. I am uncomfortable leaving Maya with a stranger and do not wish to take advantage of Isabel, who would take Maya anytime! Eric and I have practiced at home a few times, which is helping us remember the moves, but we must get out in the real world and test ourselves. I am impressed with Eric, being that he is so resistant to dancing and pushes himself to stick with a skill he is not particularly enthusiastic about. I love the hour on the dance floor, I feel light on my feet and the hour goes by in an instant. I have a lesson alone with Jipsum tomorrow, when he will twirl me around until I am dizzy. I like that I do not have to think, I just have to follow, and because he knows what he is doing, he makes me look and feel competent on the dance floor.
Maya has daily orchestra and ballet practices at the same time. I am trying to give her the choice of which practices to attend and which performance to participate in . She has decided to try to do both, which sounds impossible to me. She was at orchestra and missed ballet yesterday, and today missed orchestra and attended ballet. On Saturday she has her rehearsal for orchestra at 9:45 and the performance at 11:00, and her ballet practice at 10:30 until 1:00 and her performance at 18:00. I don't think she can do both, but I am not limiting her at this point. It is my job to get her to both locations daily. She is alternating for now and has every intent to succeed at both. My afternoons are defined by her afterschool schedule.
Eric and I did start our Christmas shopping and took care of four big gifts, so I am feeling less panicked about getting everything on my list. I believe we will get it all done, so I am relieved.
I realize that I am still over reactive to potential thieves, so today when I could not get a taxi to the Casa de la Musica for an evening of Christmas carols with the filhamonica. I uncharacteristically gave up and headed home, put on my CD of Christmas carols and stayed safe. I worry about leaving, about finding a taxi to get home, of being robbed in the dark, of being alone and vulnerable. I wonder when I will find my confidence again.