Sunday, August 2, 2009

Teenage Angst

In one way I am entirely ready for Ecuador. My frustration tolerance has expanded markedly. This is a useful skill for living in Ecuador, because nothing quite happens as planned., and today was one of those days. I woke up early to pick Tara up from her friend's twenty-first birthday party, but Tara did not answer her phone after I texted several times. This is significant because she is ordinarily glued to her phone and checks for texts constantly. I spoke to her after I had already left for DC and explained that I had an appointment at the Apple store (the one nearby is closed for renovations and this is the only store I could make an appointment with today). We had made a lunch date with her father and his wife Anita, and I thought this would be a special way to say good bye for the year. Tara clearly did not want to go and had told her father the night before that she was not going anyway. When I spoke with him he was ready to meet us for lunch and disappointed when it was canceled but then very understanding but wistful when it was clear she had no intention of joining us in DC. I was confused but surprisingly accepting of her decision.

I had a peaceful ride to Bethesda in the rain and made it in good time. My computer is slow and some functions are not working and it may be because I dropped it a few months ago and it has a dent in the corner of the screen. I could replace the screen for $450, and if I used pliers to straighten the corner I would lose my warranty. I was told that I needed a 'genius' appointment to sort out the slowness of the computer, and of course the first day there was an opening was on Thursday this week.

I realized lunch was canceled, so I did not stay long in Bethesda; I raced home to have lunch with Daphne and say good-bye. She was on her way to Boston to teach a week of violin lessons at a daycamp. I will not see Daphne for a year! We will stay in her house while she is gone and watch Elmer. After she left, I raced back to Bethesda hoping to have a Genius appointment, but he store was packed and I learned about making imovies instead, which was exciting but I have forgotten how to do it already. There are tutorials on the computer which I will have time to explore once in Ecuador. That will be one of my goals while I am gone; I will become more proficient with my laptop. Eric takes care of my computer and tells me what to do when I get stuck. I am ordinarily quite helpless with it.

This was my last day with Tara for a year, but she did not make contact until I was on my way to a yoga class much much later to find some peace and serenity. It was a timely class, all about letting go and not holding on to hurts and resentment. Exactly what I needed today. Tara felt entirely abandoned by me, or that is what she said, and she is so convincing that I am almost ready to agree with her, but when I thought further I realized that I had put aside the day for her and she chose not to participate, so clearly she is confused and I need to let go of the hurt and stay steady and loving and let go.

Maya spent a very happy day with her friends. I picked her up late and had her practice violin on into the evening while trying and failing to skype my parents, so they could hear Maya's private concert. Their computer is upstairs in a bedroom and they rarely hear the ring, despite having made arrangements to connect. In truth, communication improves every week and even my mother is appreciating the perks of technology. Unfortunately they still struggle with turning on the computer and getting skype to work, but most of the time there is success.

Two more days until we leave for Quito. I have packed three out of four bags, and the last is full of books so I do not think that will do, but I cannot let go of any of the books, or not yet. I will wait until tomorrow and reassess. I think I am well on my way o being finished, and I am so eager to go. We have been preparing and anticipating for too long. It is time for our adventure in Ecuador to begin.

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