Monday, March 23, 2009

Recovery and Fate

I interviewed a psychiatrist who may be perfect for my office. It is vital that I find someone who will connect well with my patients, and I definitely have a good feeling about her. There are several interested psychiatrists and I will interview each of them in the next few days A woman is preferable This one is willing to start immediately and gradually build up her practice. I am not worried about restarting when I return; either my patients will join me on not. I do not have any expectations about that. I am less and less anxious about the transition. I have a nurse practitioner at my old office who is very competent as well. I was SO worried that it would be a struggle to find a good fit for each of my patients, but I am feeling more confident about placing each of them.

The more details fall into place, the more it feels that this move is right for us. It is as if fate is working with us when good things happen. Last week the bad news about the house gave me doubts. Is this a good move for us, is the dismal housing situation a sign that this move to Ecuador is a poor choice?

I guess it changes day to day. Generally the scale tips in favour of the move. Making a decision about Maya's school is a plus, the measured transfer of my practice is positive, the exciting projects which are evolving are beckoning. The only negative so far is the house sale and our dismal economic status, which count for alot. Most days, I am feeling positive and hopeful and excited and energized.

I am most concerned about my daughter Tara, who does appear to be interested in joining us for the year in Ecuador. I asked that she organize her year, either volunteering or going to university. I expected her to make inquiries and arrange it all. I thought that would demonstrate her interest and enthusiasm. I worry that she is just trying to get away from New York rather than eager to explore a new culture and adventure. I did not want my energy to pull her to Ecuador, I wanted all the motivation to come from her. I do not think she realizes what to expect. Our meager means will be unfamiliar to her, and I am worried that she will be frustrated with our limitations, which will become hers.

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