Making It

My heart continues to pound, I am aware that my stress level keeps rising. I am plugging away at my 'to do'list, and I believe I am moving forward, but the more I accomplish, the longer the list appears.

There are so many ways that I am incredibly lucky. I had dinner with Rina and her family. She is the psychiatrist who is taking over my patients at one of my offices. She has three lovely daughters and an entertaining husband. I met her and her husband at Petit Louis a few weeks ago, and this time Maya came to meet two of her daughters, Chrysalis, 16 and Caroline, 8. Maya immediately connected with Chris, who came in her dance clothes after a day at dance camp at Towson University. Caroline and Maya shared a steak together, I talked shop with Rina and her husband, who is also a psychiatrist, and Sharon sat between the children, entertained by their chatter. We celebrated the smooth transition of my practice. Rina is kind and capable and I trust her to take good care fo my patients, which relieves me!

I am pleased with Teri too. She is a nurse practitioner who is taking care of many of my patients as well. I have been meeting with her these past months, because I am her physician collaborator, and because she is just starting her practice and adjusting to her private office. Again I feel lucky that I can trust her with my patients, whom I care deeply for. I can close my practices and leave knowing that my patients are in good hands.

And it is warm and wonderful and generous to be in Daphne's and Julien's household. It took a few days to accustom myself to the pace, but I am doing better now, and although Emily's house is spacious and comfortable and I wish I had not tripped the alarm and scared myself to smithereens, I survived that experience without an arrest, and am recovering now. I feel silly about the adventure, but it is past me, and I am none the worse for it all.

Maya is quiet or irritable. Her stress level reflects my own.Our lives are so unusual, and we have no real home, and all is in chaos, and it is tough for her. She did not want to come to dinner tonight, but once with Rina's family, she was giddy and over the top. She thanked me later for pushing her to join me.

I finally started getting my bags organized for Ecuador. How do I decide what to bring for a whole year? What does one need? It is spring all year in Quito, but that means variable weather, with rain and sun and fog and wind and warmth and cold all in one day. I packed at least fourteen pairs of underwear for Maya, and dozens of Tshirts. How many Tshirts does she really need? Will I have access to a washing machine and a dryer? Eric stresses that we will not have enough money to purchase more than food and the basics. What are the basics? Most importantly, what books do I bring? The bags I have are small, so I will have to purchase some large suitcases to accommodate all that I plan to bring. I consolidated and coordinated and am feeling confident that I will manage to put it all together. The original plan was to spread all the stuff all over Emily's living room and take my time deciding. I am in a small space ( I have Belina' bedroom, the three children sleep in Marius's room) but I believe I can do it here, and progress is happening.