Passport Woes

I have just picked up the absolute worst passport photograph I have ever seen. Do I really look that frightfully awful?. This is the second time I have been horrified by my photograph. I ripped the first version up four weeks ago and returned for another try at the only photo place for Canadian passports nearby, and would have ripped this one up but we have to get our visa and the only thing that is holding us up is my passport, which expires in March of 2010, but has to be valid throughout our stay. I had Eric pick it up and when we met he advised me not to look at the photo; of course I had to and have been depressed ever since. I look in the mirror and see a decent looking middle aged woman; then I look at this nightmarish person who will grace my passport for the next five years and I cringe.

Is this about not accepting that I am old and deteriorating? Or is it simply that I cannot tolerate such an offensive representation of me? Or am I simply vain and self conscious? I spent an an inordinate amount of time online looking up locations for Canadian passport photos, and discovered not only that the photo I am so dissatisfied with is not up to specifications anyway, and that there are very few (none as far as I have found thus far) locations that advertise for Canadian passport photos.

I simply cannot accept the photo. I have my passport application ready to fedex to Canada, and Eric is pushing me to 'just do it'. Tomorrow, although booked all day in the office, I will have to find a way to get this photo redone and delay getting the new passport and therefore delay acquiring our visa and delay our travel to Ecuador. This is a disaster! My vanity is preventing our move to Ecuador! I am entirely embarrassed.

I am willing to find a service to expedite the process of getting the passport, but I have yet to find the right photographer. Eric pointed out that having been in Canada for a week, it would have been simple to get a photo anywhere there. Why was I not thinking of that? Am I avoiding our move to Ecuador? It never occurred to me while there to pursue this, when it would likely have been far more uncomplicated!

I cannot think of anything else this evening, although it has been a momentous day in other ways. We had movers transport all the large items in the house and the office to the storage unit today. I expected the house to look much better, but there are so many boxes half filled and piles of junk in too many corners. My office requires hours of organization and filing, and I am uncertain that I will have the time to do finish it all. This would all be entirely acceptable and doable if not for this looming passport problem!