My friend Emily came over this afternoon to help me pack up my crystal. Somehow with her encouragement, I was able to get motivated and actually accomplish something! The house does not look different, but I know that there is progress, so I feel a little better. Eric has arranged to have our movers come a few days after we return from Canada. Maya and I will be living with one bed and personal items, no furniture,; Eric will be at Woods Hole.
I expected to feel lighter, less burdened, more hopeful. That has not happened yet. I am depressed about losing my practice, losing my home, losing my daughter, losing my family, losing my income, what else am I losing?
I must start looking at what I am going to learn and experience and enjoy during my time in Ecuador. I have been wallowing in this place of loss for weeks now, and I am incapable of looking forward and anticipating the excitement of the move. Which is the only way to do this!
I will start by bringing my Spanish books with me on the ride to Ottawa. I hope I can get Maya involved and have her practice along with me, but she will be playing with her Nintendo and watching movies. I don't mind sitting in the car and watching the world go by. Eric loves to drive, and although I will offer to drive, he most likely will stay behind the wheel for the full eight hours.